Cell Phone Case Holders: Stop The Madness

In the beginning was the Word.  But apparently keeping the Word to yourself was just not good enough, and therefore our species learned how to talk.  Entranced with our own linguistic brilliance, we had to spread the Word to everyone near and far.  First there were drumbeats used to carry messages, then smoke signals, then the telegram and then the telephone.  And we weren't done spreading the Word.  Then we had to make cell phones, then cell phone cases and now cell phone case holders.

How Did We Get Here?

The first cell phone case holders were multifunction units like pockets, purses, glove compartments in your car and boyfriends.  The first cell phones were basically bricks and were very conspicuous.  They also worked like a brick.  You were pretty much exchanging Words with a brick rather than the person you were trying to get through to.  When they broke, it was actually a blessing.

Then, somehow, cell phones managed to get smaller, lighter, more efficient and more and more glued to our ears.  It is predicted in the year 2008 that this planet will contain more cell phones on it that toothbrushes. If that doesn't chill your blood, I doubt a Stephen King move marathon ever would.  These cell phones begat cell phone cases, which in turn begat cell phone case holders.

Cell phone case holders can vary in size, color and where they hang almost as much as the cell phones they are holding.  For example, you can buy, beg, borrow or steal cell phone case holders that you hang on your doorknobs.  You can also have them hang on your belt, or loop them over your cell phone charger so you don’t have to keep them on the floor when you recharge them.

Who Are We Talking To?

All these cell phones, cell phone cases and cell phone case holders and are we really any better off as a species?  Cell phones seem poised to take over the planet, possibly with the help of cockroaches and Keith Richards (the two creatures most likely to survive a nuclear blast, according to the late great Bill Hicks.)  We seem to be doing a lot of talking, but not a whole lot of listening.

Of course, modern cell phones are not used too much as phones. They are used as digital cameras, PDAs, GPS units, music players and devices to access the internet. If they ever incorporate toothbrushes, I won’t be a bit surprised.